I’m 38,000 feet in the air and came to unrecognizable clarity. Planes and lack of real oxygen do that to me.

This clarity comes from a very unearthed space. I can hardly give advice from an expert level nor can I tell you what I’m about to say will provide you the subsistence you need for your life. However, maybe my advice can you bring you clarity- of something you may of been missing.

Blogging has become more and more the survival of the “most commercial.” Think I’m wrong? Try me. Look around at your blogroll, I guarantee the majority of the bloggers you follow are commercial- similar in taste, style & engagement. Bloggers partnering with brands that need them/you/us/me to be the perfect model/role model/puppet to represent the brand. As a blogger, I know making a buck is important. But at what cost? Let me give you an example.

I was offered a generous/substantial amount of money to vlog about this brand as long as I didn’t curse, involve sexual references, need to wear the brand in the video, speak only in good nature and provide a representation of a “commercial me”. These words come straight from the email. Yeah. I know. Now, most of these requests aren’t outlandish. In fact, most are suitable for a brand. Most brands. HOWEVER, I’m not shy when it comes to representing my true, honest self. Yup, I curse. Yup, I throw in a sexual reference here and there. I most definitely wear what I want, from no make-up to gym clothes to a jazzy sequin dress. I talk a lot of shit, normally revolving around my life and constantly strive to represent myself in the best light possible. That light being the HONEST, PASSIONATE human I am. For a brand to ask of me to COMPLETELY alter who I AM, is shameful. A brand should have come to my site, saw that I AM this uncensored person and realize I don’t change, NO MATTER what brand I work with. The request should have never been made. The problem is: Bloggers are changing & altering who they are for money and exposure.

What’s it all worth? Did Tina Fey, Sara Bareilles, Mindy Kaling, DailyGrace, Ellen DeGeneres, and the many others, decide to fall in line with their competitors to be part of a uniform community? Although most of us don’t live in that playing field, it’s so relative. All these women have made something of themselves because they stood up for what they believe in. They haven’t altered who they are to get ahead in the rat race. You shouldn’t even want to be a part of the rat race. FUCK the rat race. [P.S. I can almost guarantee that comment alone will get me no retweets from companies/brands/bloggers who may believe what I'm saying but refuse to tweet a post revolving CURSE WORDS. It's not a shocker. Trust me.]

There’s just something about creating a false identity of yourself to represent a brand. It’s inauthentic and damaging to the small world we involve ourselves in. Brands will think it’s okay to trample over us because we don’t have a “rulebook”, we don’t have “managers”, MOST of us don’t use agents and a majority of the time, we’re making decisions based on our own ideals- not an adviser or business manager guidance. When one blogger decides to sacrifice who they are for money or exposure, it damages the community we’re trying to build as independent women and men who develop our own content with no guidelines of which to follow for a brand or company.

I KNOW I won’t reach commercial level- with a million followers & hundreds of thousands of views because I’m just not what everyone wants to read/see/watch. I reach who I want to- those who understand my satire, my style and my purpose. I want to make people laugh, I want to motivate people and encourage women to be strong, independent, self-sufficient women. I want my readers to come and see a woman who won’t conform to someone’s standards or pressures. I’ll make it my own way. I’m writing in hopes you’ll do the same. Shit- whether you’re a blogger or not, don’t conform to what the WORLD wants you to be. Be confident in your choices and maintain focus on your ultimate goals. I’ll be damned if I alter who I am for money, exposure, shitttt- a man, for that matter.

So what do I hope you get out of this?

Have the courage to walk away from the imperfect things for you. Because on the horizon, is the most perfect opportunity, paycheck, or man, for the perfect of you.

Love you guys. For realz, this time.

Photo by: Lydia Hudgens (post to come soon)

  • Franceta

    This is honestly amazing. I follow this blog for this very reason. I don’t come back to see a fake smile, stock images of some products and a review about a product you hate. I come back because you curse and let it all hang out, you let us get to know you and we love you for it. This post needs to be broadcasted to the masses, they must know!

  • http://twitter.com/missyduran Ms ED

    There are some blogs that are great to take a quick glance at, but when I see a new entry here, I take the time to read it because it’s real and I don’t feel like you’re putting on a front to make readers like you or feel any particular way about you at all. When I met you at Bloggers Night Out earlier this year, it was like “…heyyy I know you!” and you didn’t have some weird “big” blogger reaction or seem freaked out at all – you weren’t any different than the person who writes here, and *that* is why  I <3 PS. And now I feel like a giant cheeseball, but you get the point, keep the honesty coming and you'll keep the people who recognize it coming back for more.

  • http://www.msbchic.com Margot Bookspan

    I love that you always keep your posts so honest. It’s what makes you relatable, fun and enjoyable to follow. You’re always full of surprises and willing to take your followers along for the ride. Keep up the amazing work and never stop being you :) 

    xo
    Margot

  • http://twitter.com/gritandglamour Grit & Glamour™

    AMEN! This is why I love your blog, and why compared to last year, I’ve got diddly going on in terms of brands. That’s OK, cause like you, I’m kind of sick of the commercial aspect of fashion blogging…everyone is out to be a star. It’s nice when brands court you, but ultimately they want a superstar with super reach, and like you, that’s not me. Plus, I’m seriously bored with self-portraits in my yard. Seriously. So rather than shutter G&G, I do it on my terms, and enjoy visiting other blogs and other forms of social media.

    I know I’ll never be “big”…I’m too old, too busy, and too perhaps even too lazy. But I never fit in with the “in” crowd a day in my life. So this is just a continuation of that. 

    I’ve always admired your honesty, even when I’ve been like, “OMG, I can’t believe she said that!” Just makes me love you more. You are who you are, no apologies, no a**-kissing, no fear. Good for you.

    • http://www.mischiefmydear.com/ Ashe @ Ash in Fashion

       Just want to say, “Yes!” both you, Christina, and you, Vahni. It’s funny– because while I feel some of my more “commercial” posts are actually why I wanted to start my site in the first place and are the most me. Writing about cute shoes I’m coveting, a plethora of plus-sized swimsuits that are calling my name.  It’s a struggle to find balance, but I hope more bloggers (and I hope that I myself) begin to write more authentically and true to themselves. Stop dressing like carbon copy clones of each other in varying pairs of Litas.

    • http://www.innyvinny.com/ InnyVinny

      I’m RIGHT there with you G&G.  I’m too old, too busy, and too lazy for this.  LMAO.  

      Christina…you already know we are >>here<< when it comes to this.  

    • http://twitter.com/KCYouThere KCYouThere

      I could not

    • http://twitter.com/KCYouThere KCYouThere

      I could not agree MORE. G&G, you took the words right out of my mouth. Things get boring, especially the good ol’ “OOTD” with the entire outfit listed as c/o. For the record, I love BOTH of your blogs & appreciate everything you put into them. I also agree with EVERYTHING stated above from SaS..it’s getting old. Perhaps Christina, you could send this out to some of your blogging peers. As much as I do love many of their blogs, maybe a little reality check wouldn’t be such a bad thing. How can a reader relate to them when everything is handed to them? Brands, at least smart ones, will catch on to this. Some of our clients already have & it’s refreshing to see other bloggers clearly have to.

      Please stay exactly how you are, we love you for it! Xx – Karina L.

  • http://www.messycrazybeautiful.blogspot.com/ Miss Cass B

    you’ve pretty much summed up how i feel about blogging and sponsors. why ask someone to represent your brand only to turn around and tell them to be the complete opposite of who they are. if they took two minutes to stop and read your blog they would’ve realized that you’re not that kind of person. oh well fuck them. i’m glad you curse and use sexual references cause i do too. everyone else out there is so clean and cookie cutter perfect it makes me sick. you keep it 100 all the time and your readers love you for that.

  • ThickAndThrifty

    Preach, sister! I’ve worked to damn hard to become who I am for a man/company/brand to change me. Not going to happen. I love me. I love my rollie pollie body and all its scars and stretch marks and caverns. I’m aware the likes of Karl Lagerfeld think my body is not aesthetically pleasing, but the man I love with my everything tells me I’m the most beautiful being he’s ever set his eyes upon. I love my stubbornness and my bluntness. 
    It’s people like YOU that help me in the life of blogging. It can be so frustrating watching these commercialized bloggers who have all the money and sponsors in the world to flaunt things I can never afford. I love you as a fellow blogger, Christina, and hope I have the honor of meeting you someday.

  • SaS

    I think what you are saying is very true. But most of your blogger friends (the ones your twitter followers see you interact with) definitely fall into this category. So many bloggers have the EXACT same giveaways in the same week or start toting the same Rebecca Minkoff bag all over town. Its sad and makes them seem like sellouts. I still like and read their blogs but it makes me feel they do not have a unique perspective and are just  doing what their agents tell them to do. I would love to see bloggers try to wear a NON-C/O outfit for just 1 day! When a blogger wears clothes that are freebies from a brand it makes them unrelatable to their readers. Yes, I could dress cute too if everything was thrown at me for free! Try something original girls.

  • http://www.onewomansstyleevolution.com/ Natasha @OneWomansStylee

    Hi Christina,
    You know I love your blog and I follow you because your posts are unpredictable and honest.  However, I don’t agree with all of the above. For a man, hell no I would never alter my personality for that reason (hence why I am single). For my job, YES! There is absolutely no way that I can walk into my job being the Natasha that I am outside the doors of the plush carpet law firm that I work in.  My English dialect (I am a yardie!) and my talent to fart on command would just not fly there.  So every morning before I enter my office I put on what I’ve come to call my corporate face. It’s not to say that I am a robot for 7 hours, but I try to wear the corporate mask until I leave. I think the same can apply to bloggers working to brands.  I don’t think they are asking you to change your personality, just how you represent them. Why not put on your brand face and revert back after the job is done?  Isn’t this what the skinny barbies that they call models do? Why shouldn’t “real women” do the same? Hell, I am very eclectic with my style so whatever mood strikes that’s what I wear. Don’t be surprised if you see me with pum pum shorts and a weave representing dancehall one of these days. I just think it would be fun to show my range and that at my age and with my “stoosh” personality that I can pull off that look.   I don’t think the majority of your followers would look at you as a sell out.  It’s just a job in my view.  Also I know bloggers tout that whole be authentic thing and I agree, but let’s not put up walls that may prevent brands from working with bloggers in the future.  That’s just my 2 cents.  I am at lunch and I am rushing to write this so I hope it reads well. 

  • http://twitter.com/MelodyPHL Melody

    LOVE that you always have the balls to say exactly what’s on your mind! You are my idol! lol forreal tho.. I agree 100% no one should change who they are for sponsors, money, or a man. 

  • Kayla

    Hell fucking yes. Amen.

  • http://supersonicmagnifique.blogspot.com/ Aimee

    While I do agree with bits of this, I must say that everyone should know how to turn themselves down a notch and have a toned-down version of themselves to present while doing a job. It just comes down to whether or not you believe your blog is a job, I suppose. But as your blog is filled with personality, I can see your thinking in this and I love that you have, once again, managed to keep it real and express your true feelings.

  • http://www.riamichelle.com Ria Michelle

     I freckin love you. I”m all about authenticity, though if someone is like don’t curse I can oblige them on that because there is a time and a place for that. I curse a lot but I don’t think it’s like PART of me. As a brand though (my webstore) I don’t think I’d ever approach someone that I know “that’s them” and then be like hey can you not do this though…because then why did I come to them if not for who they are. If I asked a blogger to work with my store, I want them to be themselves and promote my product to an audience that likes them clearly. So if I make them act differently I feel like the audience isn’t even gonna respond.

  • http://twitter.com/KPFUSION Kimmie

    I’ve become a little bored with many of my favorite bloggers and I couldn’t figure out why but you just summed it up for me: they’ve all adopted similar aesthetics in layout, posts, voice, etc. Once they crossed over, respectfully, they altered their site to be more pleasing to brands but some of the sparkle is gone as well. While we all have to make certain changes when it comes to work, I feel like it shouldn’t be as extreme as its been in the fashion blogging world simply because it’s a creative field. It’s almost like blogs are becoming cut and paste: you can change the header, the girl, and the location, but the posts are still pretty much the same. BORING!!!

    Never stop growing and evolving, but don’t evolve into a clone of everyone else. Maybe I would feel differently if I was in the big time blogger world but I view blogs the same way I do my favorite magazines: Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, and InStyle all cover fashion, beauty, and lifestyle, but each does so in a unique way; bloggers should do the same.

    • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

      Totally agree with all of this, I ended up deleting all the “bigger” bloggers off my bloglovin and started over, and I started finding fresh bloggers and even some of them are sole copy cats of the bloggers who aren’t interesting anymore. 

  • Ms_MJ

    Amen!!!!

    This post hit the nail on the head!  I’ve noticed over the three years I’ve been blogging that  more and more of the bloggers who are put out there on front street are turning into another version of what the industry wants and it scares me!  The whole reason that we bloggers have the influence that we have is that we are the closest people to the consumer than the mags are, bringing reality back to fashion.  Now it’s like you have to be a certain size, have a certain look, and a big wallet in order to “make it” nowadays.  How can we preach about being authentic and true to yourself when we’re ready to fit into the mold that we work hard to tear down just to be a magazine or commercial.

    I LOVE the fact that you turned down that offer.  I mean I’m reading and I’m like “You really think she’s gonna do that?” LOL.  Now more than ever we need to stay true to ourselves and our voices.  The brands should fit you, not you fit to them.

    Awesome post!

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  • http://stylishthought.com/ Fajr

    I’ve always loved your spunk and attitude Christina! I think you have so many valid points when it comes to the fashion blogoshere becoming a homogeneous place. It’s all very polished, gushing over brands and not provoking or asking serious questions about fashion.  I’m not one to knock people’s hustle, but I agree that standing out and being yourself is the best way to success. 

    I do think that in any space, sacrifices and compromises will be made. It’s really up to the person to know what’s a compromise and what’s totally altering themselves. It’s great that you have such a handle on what you will and won’t do.

  • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

    Ha, you are so right, and since having the same thoughts awhile ago it stop promoting so many “commerical” bloggers. I kinda stopped all together, I dont have as many on my rollcall, I don’t follow them, don’t tweet them, I don’t even link them as Inspirational content anymore. I know I’m kinda of extreme but once i realized these woman where all the same, and pretty much non-existant to the readers who supported them I figured why? Or they are all hawking the same exact thing, which is probably a different story. 

    A lot of bloggers are starting to see that, and I truely love that some bloggers can totally be themselves while making mulah or still enjoying what they love and making a living from it.. I feel like certain bloggers espeically MR, was able take that, and not be afraid to be quirky. I still know a lot of bloggers who aren’t fond of her. But the truth is she is herself, and she refers to her Fumpa on a daily bases. 
    I come from a place of only speaking about blogging. I’m lucky that for the most part I can be myself with my direct supervisor, we curse, we talk about men, we go drinking together, but would I have my job if i went in to my director and talked like that probably not. But for the sake of speaking of blogging, Some people have no issue conducting themselves in the manner that most brands like, however, I can’t deal with any blogger that puts on a show for a brand you take their word and trust in their knowledge and your find out that brand isn’t so hot once the product is in your hand.  I also can’t deal with bloggers who are painfully obvious that they are being paid to say something, or buying something because everybody else says it’s cool. A lot of the brands I like also play favorites as well which is sort of annoying and while I understand they are networking they are kinda obvious when they give certain items to bloggers just to get it out to other people, there are so many bloggers out there, to work with, but they choose the same plain girls. 

  • http://www.commecoco.com/ JenniJP

    this I love… a friend and fellow blogger told me to view this post and I am oh so very glad I did. I do my absolute best to keep my blog as raw as possible. I have alot of “enemies” on twitter because guess what I call it like it is… most of the blogs now are Zara and Asos catalogs. Do I like trends, asbolutely but I wear what is in my closet. If a brand wants to work with me well then you work with ME, not what you want to change me to be! Thank you for always being REAL!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=54703109 Pris Jimini Cricket

    This is exactly howI feel, I’m a blogger (not personal style) but that’s what I’ve seen. So many bloggers partnering up with brands pretending to love their products, selling super expensive items that aren’t even all that to us (normal) people who can’t even afford that crap!- What a relief to see someone as real as you speak her mind without feeling as if you’re going to hurt others. As much as I’d like to post photos of my style and outfits, I have a damn 9-5 job that will not allow it, plus, I’m far too lazy to do that all the time. I’d like to one day make it in the blogging world but it is very discouraging when all I see are people selling themselves short. Does that mean I too will have to follow that route? Be the voice for us little people Christina, you’re truly an inspiration. Thank you for this post.