Why does the girl fall for the bad boy knowing the good boy is waiting, willing and giving her everything she could ever need or want?

I can’t even count on every single finger and toe of women I know who fall for the bad boy, the one who’s hard to get. It’s the same cycle with men-people in general want what’s hard to capture, hard to tie down. Why is it that we ignore the good ones, the ones that really give us their heart in the palm of their hands? We could call it the game we play as we never can really name what it is we want. I’ve ruined many a relationship because I couldn’t quite figure out what I wanted. I wanted to play games-somehow it was my excuse to stall. I couldn’t commit, didn’t understand what a good man was or what made a good relationship. Instead I chased the unattainable because my fear of commitment was quite real. I once was told I run when things get hard or complicated. But enough about me and how I ruin my love life.

The point of this LLL post was really to just tell you all to really look around you. What do you see? Are your friends and family surrounding you? Do you have someone that really truly loves you? Or are you wanting more from life, wanting bigger, better, more? Why? Life isn’t really supposed to be this complicated ride where everything is a problem and everything is a sacrifice. We are the problem. My advice to you is to stop chasing what you already have. Stop wanting everything and realize what you’ve already got. Don’t get this confused with settling. If you really aren’t genuinely happy with your relationship or your friendships, then surely it isn’t the best idea to stay involved. What I’m saying is if these people, be it a good friend or the person that loves you, gives you comfort, love, compassion and strength, what more do you really want?

I have a quick story to tell you so that maybe you could understand the difference a bit. In my relationship with my ex of four years (you know the one), I remember fighting with him because I wanted flowers and gifts. Yes, you can call me a selfish bitch because yes, I was. I would fight to the death sometimes, too. In the end, it really hurt our relationship because I wanted him to be someone he wasn’t. He wasn’t the romantic type. But he gave me comfort and strength. I suppose there were a few other things left from his rapport but the point was, I was expecting him to provide me things that really didn’t make or break the relationship. It was all petty.

So, if you find yourself having fun with a new guy and he’s really great and genuinely sweet, stop going back to your ex who is only satisfying for 15 minutes and then he’s back to being his dicky self.

Just enjoy life. Stop chasing what’s bad for you and what’s hard for you. Love your life and stop worrying about who’s not in it.


Photography by: Sabrina Noel Hill (From original series here)

  • http://chocolatefashioncoffee.blogspot.com Charlotte

    This was so inspiring! It just spoke to my heart, because I had some problems lately but you are right, we should stop fighting for something that we already have!

    chocolatefashioncoffee.blogspot.com

  • http://ashley4emergy.tumblr.com Ashley

    Yessss girl! You hit the nail on the head with this one. There’s a certain allure with wanting what you can’t have! I’m such an offender in that department…oops! But you’re right, it’s all about looking around you and inside yourself and discovering what true happiness means to you. Oh and can I just say that I love that Love, Lust, Life is back!

  • http://YvonnaLivianna.blogspot.com YvonnaLivianna

    This speaks to my heart! I am talking about all of these things on my blog currently, because I think it is a real problem I have had to struggle with for most of my life. I am so ready to grow up and just live, why spend so much time being upset, or depressed? Life is about living it up and enjoying oneself, especially being a city girl! What better way to live it up than to live it up in New York City! LOVE THIS POST!

    XX!
    YvonnaLivianna
    YvonnaLivianna.blogspot.com

  • http://www.chellbellz.com Michelle of Chellbellz

    I’ve always been labeled as the good girl that men would want after they have whored around town and want to settle down. So i get it. It sucks for me because as soon as I fall for a guy he ends up giving me the ” I think we should be friends” or I like you a sister thing, or you’re so sweet I don’t want to hurt you! i realized that i was being too much of a good girlfriend, and honestly with all that it sorta turned me bad when it comes to relationships. I can’t even tell you how quickly i dodge any many good og bad when it comes to any type of commitment.

    I don’t normally go to Bad boys, because Bad boys in the hood od DC is exactly that “a bad boy” he 9 times out of 10 isn’t doing a thing with his life, he is caught up in all kinds of crazy things. When i go to the good guys, they are wierd, or still jerks. So i just gave up for awhile.

  • http://www.frontrowspectator.com lauren nicole

    “Stop chasing what you already have.”

    Preach it girl!!

  • http://www.fashionwithoutguilt.com Fashion Without Guilt

    OMG!!! My heart sank. I just was in this situation with my ex just a few days ago. He is not good for me but I keep going back. Man, we are so stupid as women sometimes. I am ready to grow up and open my heart to truly love someone. I am very scared of commitment myself. The finality of commitment makes me SO SCARED. I do plan on being a better person by choosing someone that can enhance my life not take me down.

    THANK YOU FOR THIS POST I DO NOT FEEL SO ALONE OR THAT I AM JUST PLAIN CRAZY. YOU ARE THE BEST. :)

  • http://lintonfromlondon.blogspot.com/ Hadassah

    this is deep! Thanks for the advice!

    • http://www.profreshstyle.com Christina of Profresh Style

      <3