Dear Readers,

Oh, how I heart you all so much. You are my only motivation to continue this and push forward. This is a dedication to you.

When I first starting blogging, I had no idea what I was doing or where this would lead but I wanted to share my journey with you, no matter how many readers there were. Over the course of four years (Deefineme 2007, Fashion Tablet 2008, Nobodyknowsyou 2009, Profresh Style 2009-current), you’ve followed me, I’ve gained new readers and lost some. The ones who are still here, this is my love letter to you. There is nothing more that makes me so happy than to write to you every post.

My journey through blogging has led me to amazing experiences, going to the dream career place of New York City and attending two seasons of fashion week. I’ve met wonderful people, was exposed to the dark side of the fashion industry but more than anything, I was rewarded with the hugest circle of supporters I’ve ever had. I’ve never really doubted I couldn’t do what I wanted or couldn’t achieve anything I put my mind to. Through blogging, it’s motivated me to push myself and go after what my dreams have been since a little girl. Those dreams changed this season.

I won’t say I’m quitting my dream, I won’t say I’m going to stop blogging but I’m saying that I’m realizing my potential in New York City. New York can be a scary place; everyone is beautiful and aspiring and motivated. Everyone strives for success and gains it, no matter what they have to do to get there. I’m just not sure I could ever be that way. Call it being soft, call it being too nice, but I could never fit into this lifestyle.

I know what you’re thinking. “You don’t need to fit in”, “Don’t listen to them, you can do it” but I honestly believe it doesn’t matter if I don’t fit in or can do this. I don’t want to. My happiness will always be more important than any job, any beautiful dress, any city walk-up apartment. Who knows if I’ll end up in New York City, Sweden or any other city I crave. What I know now is my happiness overrides all.

You are the reason I started; you’ll be the reason I continue. Your letters, your thoughts, your comments, your sweetness IRL is what makes me love blogging and will continue to do so. I can’t thank you enough for motivating me and being the sweetest people I could have ever met or talked to.

So, for once, follow a very unknown path to making it. Whatever that means. Hey, you never know- I might move to Seattle, open up a coffee shop and make a million babies. ;)

Love always,

Christina

  • http://twitter.com/gritandglamour Grit and Glamour

    Christina, I totally get this, and I love this post.

    Your honesty and courage in admitting that what you discovered in NYC isn’t what you had hoped is so refreshing. So much of fashion is the Emperor’s New Clothes, in my opinion. Like you, I’ve always dreamed of working in the industry. And like you, I am not sure I could ever commit to the NY lifestyle. Because, yeah, I don’t believe in backstabbing as a means to an end. And NY is just so not nice compared to where I live.

    I admire you for owning your feelings, I really do. Happiness IS the most important thing, and I know you will have a massive, positive impact whereever you are…in NY, CA, or in Seattle with brood of beautiful babies. You’re the real deal, sweetheart. You are genuine, strong, sensitive, and very, very real. Never stop being YOU!

    xo

    ••V••
    http://www.gritandglamour.com
    @gritandglamour

  • http://dearwinnie.com Chelsea Rae

    I think realizing that your heart forges the best path is the one thing I’m glad I’ve learn at a young age. No matter what people tell you and no matter what society tells you is appropriate to do, you have to do what makes you happy. Life isn’t worth it, no matter what you have or do, unless you can truly say you’re happy. It might seem selfish to only want your own happiness, but I think in the long run, other people’s happiness, or lack there of, effects your happiness as well. So, whether you end up in NYC or in Seattle as a a coffee shop owner or in Montana as a cat lady, as long as you’re happy, that’s what matters, and if you’re a blogging cat lady, I’ll totally still read!

  • http://dearwinnie.com Chelsea Rae

    I think realizing that your heart forges the best path is the one thing I’m glad I’ve learn at a young age. No matter what people tell you and no matter what society tells you is appropriate to do, you have to do what makes you happy. Life isn’t worth it, no matter what you have or do, unless you can truly say you’re happy. It might seem selfish to only want your own happiness, but I think in the long run, other people’s happiness, or lack there of, effects your happiness as well. So, whether you end up in NYC or in Seattle as a a coffee shop owner or in Montana as a cat lady, as long as you’re happy, that’s what matters, and if you’re a blogging cat lady, I’ll totally still read!

  • Anonymous

    Wow Christina, such transparency! I totally understand where you are coming from (I had one of those wherever life takes me epiphanies last week). Happiness and joy are truly the key to a successful life, and I’m sure however, whenever, and wherever life leads you happiness will follow (in a gorgeous rolling luggage lol)! Thanks for your beautiful love letter!

    **Rocquelle**
    http://www.considermelovely.com
    Twitter: @ConsiderMeLuvly

  • Anonymous

    Wow Christina, such transparency! I totally understand where you are coming from (I had one of those wherever life takes me epiphanies last week). Happiness and joy are truly the key to a successful life, and I’m sure however, whenever, and wherever life leads you happiness will follow (in a gorgeous rolling luggage lol)! Thanks for your beautiful love letter!

    **Rocquelle**
    http://www.considermelovely.com
    Twitter: @ConsiderMeLuvly

  • Anonymous

    Wow Christina, such transparency! I totally understand where you are coming from (I had one of those wherever life takes me epiphanies last week). Happiness and joy are truly the key to a successful life, and I’m sure however, whenever, and wherever life leads you happiness will follow (in a gorgeous rolling luggage lol)! Thanks for your beautiful love letter!

    **Rocquelle**
    http://www.considermelovely.com
    Twitter: @ConsiderMeLuvly

  • Anonymous

    Wow Christina, such transparency! I totally understand where you are coming from (I had one of those wherever life takes me epiphanies last week). Happiness and joy are truly the key to a successful life, and I’m sure however, whenever, and wherever life leads you happiness will follow (in a gorgeous rolling luggage lol)! Thanks for your beautiful love letter!

    **Rocquelle**
    http://www.considermelovely.com
    Twitter: @ConsiderMeLuvly

  • Lynzy

    Thank you Christina for sharing these feelings that I believe are all too common with those who engulf themselves into the fashion world in NYC. This was my second time going during NYFW and each time I felt almost defeated. Not that I did not enjoy my time there, because I definitely did. I met some amazing people and new friends that I will continue to speak with for as long as time.

    The push to become successful is that which people fail to find themselves and what they are really looking for. I also feel that some of these people will do to the depths of hell to become on top, and I do not believe in that.

    You are beautiful inside and out and I really enjoy what you do here in the “blogosphere”. Never stop being yourself. It’s good to not know where you are going and what is happening next, it makes life that much more enjoyable :) Surprises are at every corner.

    xo Lynzy
    http://sparklingfootsteps.blogspot.com

  • http://fvncy.com/ FVNCY

    Christina <3 do what you want and be happy, the people that matter will always still be there. I'm proud to know you and proud to see your confidence. You're striving to discover you and truly stick to it. Other girls would be so caught up and determined to override anything especially happiness for a small taste or glimpse of what you've done. "Don't worry. Be happy." <3333 It's something I'm still learning myself.

    Best coast West coat love. Hurry home!! We should plan a day of funsies.

  • http://www.styleactivist.com erika sheffer

    Ahhh, darling Christina. This spoke to my heart and reminded me of our 5-ish hours spent in Starbucks just people watching and chatting our butts off. I came home totally missing the city but also feeling a bit jaded about the monarchy that seemed to overtake the city.
    You are something so special, and your future lies only where you want it to be. You could be anywhere and do anything and be successful doing it, because you have heart, girl. That’s what NYC lacks – there is so much adrenaline for climbing to the top, that no one listens to their heart.

    You go girl! Do whatever you need to do – go wherever you feel, and do not ever lose sight of your dream. I have such high expectations for you, and I just know that you will out-do them. OH, but wherever you go, save a spot for me on your couch – because I’ll be visiting!

    Luhh you babes!

    XO,
    Erika

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  • http://twitter.com/Tanvii Tanvi

    What a refreshing honest post! Takes so much courage to say it like it is. More power to you for sharing your thoughts and may you find happiness in whatever you choose to pursue

  • LadyFlashback

    just found your blog and adore,

    this is a very sweet letter too.

    i too craved NYC but after several visits realized it is NOT where i could live. you are lucky to have made it to Fashion Week, thats a dream i wish to fulfill.

    hello from LadyFlashback!

    jess s//LF

  • http://twitter.com/TheStyleFile Marissa

    Christina,
    This post was incredibly beautiful. You quite possibly stated what was exactly on my mind throughout my stay in NYC, and I’m sure we are not the only ones. The sleep-less, food-less, deprived-of-everything ‘good’ life just isn’t for everyone. It seems that stereotypical person is the one who thrives in the world of fashion- bloggers may be the one exception.

    After my first 5 hours in NY, I knew I could never life there, never life that lifestyle, never commit my life/happiness/future to something or someone else. I want to do something that is continuously feeding me. Just like you, I’ve always dreamed of working in the fashion industry. There’s so many avenues in that industry, though, it’s about finding the one that works well for us.

    You are a beautiful woman, inside and out. I know you have so many dreams and wishes, and you are going after them.. every, single, day. Keep doing that! You are the one who is in control of your own happiness, and will do every thing you can to get it. I wish we had more time to chat while in NYC- September!

    Keep being you, girlll!
    XXXO
    M

  • http://www.protototypemama.wordpress.com Prototype Mama

    I’m so glad you are who you are— I love reading your post because I know that when I do, it’s coming from a real chick. It’s so easy to get wrapped up on the hype so I’m ecstatic that you’re staying true to yourself. Keep it funky, like you always do:)

  • http://hELLNOTESFORBEAUTY.BLOGSPOT.COM Hell Notes for Beauty

    oh how sweet…. your happiness is the most important thing you could ever cherish. kindness is percieved as weakness in a place like NYC Because High stress , bills, rent and the ego kind of warps people into a drone state of mind. Lacking compassion and true love….

    The world could use a million more profresh babies anyway. lol

  • http://askewawry.blogspot.com Elizabeth

    This was a lovely post. I appreciate your honesty, and I hope you find what you’re looking for!

    • http://www.flirt1.net/liebe.html liebe

      This is extactly what is onmy mind. i wish you alle the best

  • http://witwhimsy.com witwhimsy

    you my dear are fabulous and i couldn’t love this little letter more. here’s to all the opportunity & possibility that lies ahead of us! XOXO

    meghan
    http://witwhimsy.com
    @meghandono

  • http://stylishthought.com Fajr Muhammad

    Once again you bare your soul and give us an even deeper connection! Christina you are truly beautiful and your honesty is so refreshing. I know that wherever life takes you whether it’s to a big city or a small town with your millions of babies, you will excel and be truly happy.

    It was a pleasure meeting you gal!

  • http://idratherbeshopping.wordpress.com/ joAnn @ i’d rather be shopping

    this post totally got to me — i lived in NYC for four years before moving out west. for me and my husband (boyfriend at the time), ny was a never-ending rat race and it just got old. for us, it meant moving west to pursue new dreams…and we haven’t looked back. i hope you find happiness and success in whatever you decide to do and where ever you decide to go. your honesty is refreshing — thank you, it was really a highlight to my day. :)

    xo,
    joAnn

  • http://www.withering-rose.net Ria Michelle

    Girl it’s like that song that says “live in new york city once, but leave before it makes you too hard.” I’ve lived in NYC. I loved it, when it came time to model (back when I was still attempting that haha) I hated it. My mother lives in Sweden, I hear it’s a great country. I haven’t been yet, I hope to go this year but definitely not during their brutal winter months.

  • http://theaimeeshow.blogspot.com/ Aimee

    Christina, this post is balls to the wall amazing. I completely agree that New York can be scary and intimidating – I myself am questing whether or not I’ll be able to make it through the hustle and bustle of the city once I’m out of school. This is very refreshing to read. It’s a little sad that you didn’t find what you were looking for in NY, but a new path is always fun to go about. You never know what you’re gonna get, right? Life is like a box of chocolates! Haha, ignore me. Anyway, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for. I’ll be with you on your journey, reading all of your posts! If you keep it up, that is. Which I would absolutely love if you did! Keep on truckin, lady.

    x

  • gina esposito

    cheers my dear. don’t let the craziness that is the new york fashion industry bring you down, just go after what you love and pave your own way.

    also, where is your necklace from in this photo?

    x