Most women have been there before…we have had it in our relationship yet we’re still there in it, even if we’ve mentally checked out. We compromise with ourselves, saying “well if he cheats again, next time, that’s it.“, “Well, if he hits me again, I’ll leave.“, “Well I know I have him in check, so at least he’s coming home to me.” Oh, how we’ve told that to ourselves, to our girlfriends, to our family. I think we say it so many times out loud, that maybe we’ll actually believe it. It’s a treacherous road, is it not?

So, when is our actual breaking point? When is it really enough? I know so many women, myself included, where we stay for years, waiting it out. We hope he’ll change when he really won’t, we hope he’ll do something so awful so we’ll of convinced ourselves that he’s not worth it. The fact of the matter is, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I can promise myself and all of you, that people are usually repeat offenders if they have no reason to change. Reason being is because we stay. Usually, it’s because we think they’ve convinced us they will stop or they’ll try harder next time. But the moment we give that 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th chance, is the second they’re thinking about doing it again.

There’s hardly ever an exception. If he hit you once, he’ll hit you again. If he cheated on you with no regard, he’ll do it again. Our intuition is strong enough to know the truth. Always follow that. Always.

—————————–UPDATE—————————–

Hey guys-so I think a scared a few of you because I received some very concerned emails regarding abuse hotlines and outreach programs. Let me get this clear-I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. I’ve only known people who have been. That being said, this article wasn’t written specifically for people in physically abusive relationships. It was written for those who stay in relationships because they feel they can’t do better. I hope this all makes sense to you amazingly sweet and endearing and caring yet dramatic readers. :) Love you all though and thank you for the concern!


Image via Fashion Gone Rogue
  • http://twitter.com/gritandglamour Grit and Glamour

    I’m totally that girl that stays in a relationship way too long. But as I am getting older, I’m getting wiser, and my patience is shorter—which in this regard, is good. I might suffer some B.S. from a mate, but hitting is intolerable. Luckily I’ve never had to deal with it. That’s probably because the men I’ve had long-term relationships with know that if they dare raise a hand to me, it’s coming back. In the form of a frying pan.

    And on the subject of domestic violence, let’s be clear: ladies, you can’t hit your man then expect them to not hit you. It goes both ways. No one should be hitting anyone!

    ♥ V
    http://www.gritandglamour.com
    twitter: @gritandglamour

  • http://twitter.com/gritandglamour Grit and Glamour

    I’m totally that girl that stays in a relationship way too long. But as I am getting older, I’m getting wiser, and my patience is shorter—which in this regard, is good. I might suffer some B.S. from a mate, but hitting is intolerable. Luckily I’ve never had to deal with it. That’s probably because the men I’ve had long-term relationships with know that if they dare raise a hand to me, it’s coming back. In the form of a frying pan.

    And on the subject of domestic violence, let’s be clear: ladies, you can’t hit your man then expect them to not hit you. It goes both ways. No one should be hitting anyone!

    ♥ V
    http://www.gritandglamour.com
    twitter: @gritandglamour

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  • http://iplayfaves.blogspot.com iplayfaves

    I waited for too long. It was difficult to realize my mistakes and then decide how to fix them. It was a more lack of communication and lack of compromise which led to emotional distress. Not as serious as abuse of the physical or mental kind but it is commonplace. It has been a month and
    I am not really over it. I chalk it up to human condition.
    But I do have advice.
    Get out as soon as possible especially if it is doing harm to yourself. It will be a hard road emotionally but it is so much more worth it than dealing with it. That is where I am at and although it hurts….it hurts less knowing I have the option to get out and emotionally feel I can’t.

  • http://www.withering-rose.net Ria Michelle

    Amen girl. I see way too many of my friends in relationships that are making them unhappy. Thankfully they’re not physically abusive but staying like they are isn’t good for their mental health.

    • http://www.profreshstyle.com Profresh Style

      it’s a very scary thing but hopefully there are friends that can be there for those women who are abused. <3

  • Anonymous

    Very poignant post! I think we have all stayed in a relationship that wasn’t good for us for longer than we should have. Leaving is difficult and even harder when you do not realize and know your true self-worth. Love is tricky and complicated but it should never EVER hurt.

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